What is positive intelligence, and how can it help you achieve your goals?
If your emotional abilities aren’t in hand, if you don’t have self-awareness, if you are not able to manage your distressing emotions, if you can’t have empathy and have effective relationships, then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far. -Daniel Goleman
We all have saboteurs — those little voices in our head that tell us we’re not good enough, that we can’t achieve our goals. Sometimes I feel those are my most frequent conversations with those voices. They’re the ones that hold us back from taking risks and pursuing our dreams. But what if there was a way to silence those saboteurs? That’s where positive intelligence comes in. Positive intelligence is the idea that we all have an “inner saboteur” — a part of our brain that’s constantly trying to hold us back. But we also have an “inner Sage” — a part of our brain that’s creative, resourceful, and intelligent. The key is to learn how to silence the saboteur and let the Sage take the reins. When you learn how to harness positive intelligence, you’ll find yourself taking more risks, being more innovative, and achieving your goals like never before. So if you’re ready to take your life to the next level, positive intelligence is the way to go!
The Origin of Saboteurs
Every time I overcome an obstacle, it feels like success. Sometimes the biggest ones are in our head — the saboteurs that tell us we can’t. — Lupita Nyong’o
Our Saboteurs begin as our protectors, assisting us in surviving the real and imagined dangers to our physical and emotional survival as youngsters. By the time we reach adulthood, we no longer need them, but they have become unconscious inhabitants of our minds. We are “hijacked” by our Saboteurs when these neural connections are activated, and their primitive mission is to protect us from the imagined dangers of adulthood by undermining our success.
Meet the Saboteurs
The Judge: Your Master Saboteur The Judge is the world’s most common Saboteur. It’s the one that disciplines you for making errors or having flaws, nags you about future dangers, harasses you at night with worry, gets you fixated on what’s wrong with your life, and so forth. The Judge activates your other Saboteurs, causes a significant amount of unhappiness and stress. It makes you less effective and can affect your relationships. (And it’s the one that seems to be my constant companion.)
The Avoider They focuses and is driven by their need for joy, which means they focus on the positive and pleasant in an obsessive way. While it can be difficult at times because of avoiding conflict or unpleasant tasks; these people are often very happy with what’s going on around them.
The Controller No likes a controller, this sabotuer is often found in people who suffer with anxiety have an overwhelming need to take charge and control situations that they can’t always do so. When there is no choice, these people are typically very impatient until their desired outcome becomes reality again or something changes in the environment for them — such as another person taking action on behalf of yourself!
The Hyper-Achiever These people have a deep need for respect and recognition. They’re always looking at the latest achievement to feel accomplished, but it’s not enough because there is still this craving inside of them that just won’t go away no matter how much success they seem to achieve with whatever project or task in front them at any given time.
The Hyper-Rational Intense and exclusive focus on the rational processing of everything, including relationships. This can be perceived as cold or aloof to others’ feelings. A person who has an intense focus like this might come off as uncaring sometimes since they’re not emotionally invested in other people anyways. Sometimes individuals with high intelligence will suffer from intellectual arrogance which is when someone thinks their knowledge makes them better than everyone else around him/her.
The Hyper-Vigilant The constant state of alert, on-the-go with no time for yourself. You are always watching out and listening intently in order to make sure nothing goes wrong or gets taken advantage of. The anxiety can be exhausting but at least there’s room enough inside this body that you don’t feel like bursting forth from your skin intensity wise? The vigilant nature takes up all our energy so we never rest either physically OR mentally.
The Pleaser A person who is always helping, pleasing and rescuing others may come to lose sight of their own needs. They become resentful as a result because they feel like these acts should be enough for the people around them but it’s not satisfying either party involved in this relationship dynamic. I think one way we can try fixing our problem here would just entail slowing down sometimes- taking time out from being everyone’s best friend (and doing everything right) so you aren’t constantly running on empty or feeling overwhelmed by your responsibilities.
The Restless You’re always on the go. You can’t stay in one place for more than five minutes before you start looking around and wondering what’s next on your list of things to do? Constant motion, never at rest or content with where they are right now.
The Stickler Do you have a deep-seeded fear that everything they do or say will be considered imperfect. They become caught up in making sure all their actions meet high standards, which leads them to overdo it on things like cleaning and organization as well for fear of being judged by others who may not share these same concerns about perfectionism. Perfectionists often struggle with anxiety because the need for order seems so important when you’re constantly surrounded by disorderliness everywhere else.
The Victim The most difficult people to live with are those who have an intense, almost painful focus on their internal feelings. These individuals can be extremely sensitive and often take things too far when they need attention or affection from others in order not feel ignored by them — which sometimes leads these types of folks into doing something dramatic. People with the marty personality type often feel as though they are being emotionally and physically attacked by others. They tend to internalize pain, especially when it comes in contrast or opposition from those around them who enjoy rewarding themselves at their expense — a form of emotional abuse known alternatively (and interchangeably) called “projection,” “contrasting emotions” etcetera.
How to identify your personal saboteurs
The ego mind both professes its desire for love and does everything possible to repel it, or if it gets here anyway, to sabotage it. That is why dealing with issues like control, anger, and neediness is the most important work in preparing ourselves for love. - Marianne Williamson
How can you identify your personal saboteurs? One way is to use the a quiz to help identify what your saboteurs accomplices in addition to the universal Judge. And then simply listen to the thoughts you have when you’re facing a challenge or pursuing a goal. What are the voices in your head saying? Are they encouraging you to keep going, or are they telling you to give up? Another way to identify your saboteurs is to think about the decisions you make in your life. Do you often find yourself choosing the safe option instead of the one that would require more effort? Do you shy away from new opportunities because you’re afraid of failing? If so, your saboteurs may be to blame. The final way to identify your saboteurs is to pay attention to your emotions. Do you feel anxious or stressed when you’re trying something new? Do you feel like giving up when things get tough?
What are some techniques for building positive intelligence and using it to your advantage?
In today’s world, it’s more important than ever to have a sharp mind. To be successful, you need to be able to think quickly on your feet, come up with innovative solutions, and stay focused on your goals. So how can you set your mind up for success? Building positive intelligence starts with daily mental exercise. Just like you need to workout your physical muscles to stay in shape, you need to workout your mental muscles to keep your mind sharp. This can be as simple as using Shirzad Chamine’s break-through 6-week PQ Program and PQ Gym app to strengthen those muscles, or taking some time to meditate or do some deep breathing exercises. I was curious about to control my saboteurs, I took the 6-week program and it was an amazing experience. Here’s how the program breaks down in the 6-weeks:
Week 1 Self-Command Muscle PQ reps are a new way to boost your self-command muscle. Each Pq rep only takes 10 seconds and can be done with eyes open or closed, so it’s easy for you get started right away! With each repetition of the process, we develop greater mastery over ourselves while also quieting negative thoughts in order activate positive regions within our brains.
Week 2–3 Saboteur Interceptor Muscle The lies, the limiting beliefs and damaging thoughts of your saboteurs will no longer be able to fool you into thinking they are helpful. This is because in preparation for this practice we get rid of them by exposing their falsehoods so that when it comes time again our minds can stay focused on what’s important — YOU!
Week 4–6 Sage Muscle Every problem or challenge can be converted into a gift and opportunity. And you get to generate the gifts through 5 powerful powers: Empathize, Explore Innovate, Navigate, Activate.
You’ll learn how these skills work in your life when things are going well as well as those moments where they might not seem so helpful but actually help bring out new strengths that were never before seen.
The Run-Down In addition to daily mental exercise, it’s also important to focus on one specific area each week. This could be working on your personal or professional 3 core mental muscles and in the following weeks, you will use those muscles in various activities. You need to workout your mental muscles to keep your mind sharp. This can be as simple as doing a crossword puzzle or Sudoku every day, or taking some time to meditate or do some deep breathing exercises. You can also try memory games or brainteasers to give your mind a workout. This could be working on your problem-solving skills, honing your memory, or practicing innovation. By taking the time to focus on one area at a time, you’ll see big improvements in your overall intelligence. With a little daily practice and weekly focus, you can start building positive intelligence that will help you succeed in all areas of life.
How can you stay motivated and on track when things get tough?
When innovation isn’t happening as quickly as you’d like, or when you’re feeling stuck in a rut, it’s easy to get discouraged. But giving up is not the answer. The key is to find ways to stay motivated and on track, even when things are tough. One way to do this is to keep your goals in mind. What are you working towards? What do you want to achieve? Keeping your goals at the forefront of your mind will help you stay focused when things get tough. Another way to stay motivated is to daily practice. This could be anything from writing for 15 minutes every day to taking a walk around the block. The important thing is to find something that you can commit to doing on a daily basis, even when you don’t feel like it. Finally, it can be helpful to choose one task each week that you will focus on. This could be something big, like working on a new project, or something small, like decluttering your desk. By focusing on one task each week, you can break down your goals into manageable pieces and avoid getting overwhelmed by the big picture. When things get tough, these tips will help you stay motivated and on track.
You cannot raise a man/woman up by calling them down. -William J.H. Boetker
It’s important to stay motivated and on track no matter what challenges you face in life. With a little daily practice and weekly focus, you can start building positive intelligence that will help you succeed in all areas of life. Positive intelligence is the key to success, so remember your goals and stay focused on reaching your full potential. Have you tried focusing on one area at a time to develop your positive intelligence? What has been the most successful for you? Let us know in the comments!
If you would like to co-create a plan to silence your saboteurs, schedule an introductory call to see how I can help.
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